It's a battle that will always take place. A never-ending cycle. One side is beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. The other side is that you can only be beautiful if you fit the certain standard.
From the moment a mother gives birth, you are immediately classified by gender, race, and social status...the basics. But as you grow and begin to venture out into the world, you are immediately introduced to a million different classifications that you'll never be able to comprehend and in some cases, obtain.
Before I started kindergarten my only social experiences were at church and daycare. I had no idea that I was really any different from anyone else. It's incredibly sad to say that kindergarten is when my problems started but here we are. Kids can be so rude which I full-heartedly believe that we blame the parents for that. By the first grade I had more problems. I was chubbier and a personality clash with my teacher (I wish I was kidding about this but the teacher legit told my mom this why I was having problems in class with her) put me in a special needs class part of the time. I vividly remember the absolute torture I went through that year. One instance I was picked to be the line leader which meant that I got to hold the door open for the kids coming in from recess. Every kid wanted that opportunity. It was my first time getting to do it and I was just as excited as any kid had been before me but that would be the last time I would want to do it. The majority of the boys poked my stomach coming through the door and called me porky pig which made some of the girls giggle. Imagine being six years old and already made to believe that you aren't acceptable. And no need to go into my teenage and adult years because I'm sure you've probably experienced some of that yourself.
As a society we have became obsessed with appearances. We've let celebrities, media, and fashion dictate what beauty is and isn't. We've allowed it to be socially acceptable for someone to be mean because they're just "voicing their opinion". Weight issues are now entertainment from My 600lb Life to the Biggest Loser to Hot & Heavy where they document mixed-weight couples (insert eye roll) and literally everything in between. Actresses who are a little heavier than the average actress aren't featured in the media simply for their talent but almost as if it's a shocker that they're talented, pretty and yet still chunky. Like you're not allowed to be all three. If you're chunky, you can't be anything else. Lizzo is always in the media for being outrageously out there with her body/confidence and I have to wonder if they're talking about her in celebration of her confidence or are they really making fun? Along those same lines is she being celebrated only because she is deemed a celebrity but the normal girl that is really no different than Lizzo is shunned simply because she doesn't have the public eye on her? Fat-shaming is all around us and sometimes its so subtle you barely notice. It can often be disguised and we tend to brush it aside.
Sometimes when I'm trying to unwind at night I watch reels on Facebook. I've came across a few that have brought this topic to the forefront. I'm going to touch on them so you can see where I'm at in this. One was a thin woman interviewing random men on the street and asking if they prefer a thick or skinny woman. 90% of the guys said skinny but when asked why, they didn't really have a reason. A couple of them were teenagers and they both said skinny but I don't know was their reason why. Was that really their preference or has society made them think that has to be their preference? One of the ladies I follow is hilarious. Her laugh makes you laugh but in every single one of her videos she is essentially making fun of herself. She has so many people leaving her love in the comments and I'm sure the negative comments are blocked. I choose to believe that she is just being her authentic self and has learned to laugh at herself; not put herself down. The last one was a preview for the show Hot & Heavy that I previously mentioned. This couple was a pretty yet heavy woman and a thin, muscular man. She was talking about the negative comments and questions they get all the time. Like surely he was just after her money or maybe they met before she was fat. Neither was the case but it just shows how people think. I rarely look at the comments but I did on this particular clip and I was shocked to see what people were saying. Again, going back to it being socially acceptable to be mean because you're just voicing your opinion. People were immediately jumping to the conclusion that she was unhealthy because of her weight. One person even said that she was going to drop dead soon implying that because she is obese that she is just so unhealthy that there's no way that she could possibly have a long life. I've known people who were average weight that dropped dead from a heart attack in their 40's. I've known people who worked out every single day and had to have a triple bypass surgery. Others were talking about they couldn't understand how a thin man would want someone that wasn't really his equal. And I'm just going to stop right there with that because my comments would become a whole other post. I was literally disgusted with people.
We're told as a plus size woman that we shouldn't wear certain things. We have to dress conservatively, modest, and honestly just plain boring. Don't show too much skin. Don't wear tight clothing. Don't draw attention to yourself. I had a lady tell me once when I was a teenager that I had fat legs so I couldn't wear anything shorter than ankle length. We're not supposed to be fashionable according to fashion stylists, editors and the such. Don't get me wrong plus size fashion has came a long ways over the years and some companies are more accepting than they ever have been before but there is still a stereotype, a stigma.
This will be a battle we will continue to fight. This isn't just a rant of all the injustice I've felt as a plus size woman. I have a point to all this and I'm getting there I promise. It's time to fight back. Let's go full beast mode and take a stand. We are not defined by our weight, by our looks. We are all beautiful, talented, intelligent, capable, and can do anything we set our minds too. We have every right to dress how we want, date who we want, be who we want, do what we want. Our weight should never hold us back from anything! Your only limitation is yourself. Chicka, don't let anyone tell you what your limitations are. You don't have any. Dress loud. Be Bold. Live Confidently. Be an absolute BADASS WOMAN! Because that is who you are. You are not a plus size woman; you are a woman. Period.